I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
