On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
