i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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