no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
