i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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