I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
