apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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