I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I still have a little drunk in my system
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
