i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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