Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
