Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
