Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
