My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
