That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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