Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
