I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
