Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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