Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
