Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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