My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
