Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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