I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
