What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
