First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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