doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You're so nebulous sometimes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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