Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
