What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
