We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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