Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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