um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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