I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
