so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
