I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
