just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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