you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
