Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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