I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
