You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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