did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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