you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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