So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
