Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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