so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
