Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
NoShamevember. You game?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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