Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
