Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
