Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
