dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
