oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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