Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
